I don't really know how to handle this case cos its becoming a huge
problem between me & my wife. I have tried to play it to the best of
my knowledge but the situation is not getting in anyway better.
Dayo and I have been friends for more than 15yrs. We grew up together
those days in Ibadan and fortunately, we attended the same university to
study different courses. We were in the same faculty of Engineering but
different departments.
The university I attended is without school accommodation, so we got an apartment close to each other & sometimes he comes to my place & I go to his place too.
He loves Beans a lot back then and he happens to be a good cook. So most times, I visited him cos of the beans, laced up with Garri egba @ night.
However, we graduated & I was posted to Delta state while he went to Imo state. Even at that, he comes to my place. I served in an Oil & Gas company and we had enough money to spend.
I used to give him enough money those days cos he was given just a small 'allawe' which couldn't take care of all his needs.
After our youth service, I was retained & he moved to the UK for his masters courtesy of the little money I made during my service year.
The university I attended is without school accommodation, so we got an apartment close to each other & sometimes he comes to my place & I go to his place too.
He loves Beans a lot back then and he happens to be a good cook. So most times, I visited him cos of the beans, laced up with Garri egba @ night.
However, we graduated & I was posted to Delta state while he went to Imo state. Even at that, he comes to my place. I served in an Oil & Gas company and we had enough money to spend.
I used to give him enough money those days cos he was given just a small 'allawe' which couldn't take care of all his needs.
After our youth service, I was retained & he moved to the UK for his masters courtesy of the little money I made during my service year.
After 3yrs, I moved too courtesy of him & he helped with part of the bills cos he was working and studying then.
He got married and after about a year I got to UK and I did mine too almost immediately.
But lately, I have been having issues with my wife over the closeness between me & Dayo. We have free calls to ourselves on O2 network. So we talk virtually everyday for more than two hours after work. And weekends, like Saturdays, we move from weekend free land-line to land-line call to Skype.
Just yesterday my wife warned me to desist from such attitude or face divorce.
Please, I need decent people in the house to advise me. I can't ask him to stop calling me or visiting me. He once told me about his wife having similar problem with our friendship too. We are just normal friends with no strings attached.
Do I call both families together to resolve it or ignore the threat from my wife?
What candid advice would you give a friend in such situation? Please drop your sincere comments and let him know what you think.
I can feel the plight of their different spouses....no one wants to feel threatened in a union as delicate as marriage. I advise that they get their different spouses equally involved in the friendship cos personally i can't end a friendship that long and sweet. The two families should become great family friends devoid of malice and envy. Just to be fair, maybe you guys should kinda limit the time spent on the phone and on Skype together.....it's kinda infuriating to feel like you are practically competing for your spouse's attention with someone else....especially when the person doesn't understand how far you guys have come. One thing is for sure, you guys are friends for life, the limited time you may have to be spending together now not withstanding.
ReplyDeleteValid point there! Its all about making it an open relationship that'll involve the two families especially their wives that think something else may be going on.
ReplyDelete